What is Anger Management & How Can It Help?
Knowing what anger is and how it is expressed is good, but only up to a point. We need to realize that while anger is a healthy and useful emotion, when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to serious problems. This can mean problems at home, at work, in personal relationships and in actuality, in the overall quality of your life. It can even lead one to a feeling of being controlled by an almost unpredictable and powerful force. The goal of Anger Management is to effectively reduce both one's secondary emotional reactions and the psychological stimulation that anger causes. No one can completely rid themselves of the things, people, or circumstances that end up in anger. However, we can learn to control our reactions. Just like alcoholics must manage their drinking, "rageaholics" must manage their anger - one day at a time!
Call today to start your journey to a happy life where YOU are in control - not your ANGER!
(210) 557-7672 or email: rbauer@cprgnet.com
Call today to start your journey to a happy life where YOU are in control - not your ANGER!
(210) 557-7672 or email: rbauer@cprgnet.com
What is Anger?
ANGER!! The very word conjures up harsh images of responses we have experienced or witnessed in our life. In our daily walk, we see time after time instances of individuals exhibiting or "taking out their anger” in varied (and often dangerous) forms. We begin to wonder if anger really serves any useful purpose, besides complicating and making situations worse. However, when we step back, we might realize upon closer examination, that anger is indeed a normal emotion that does indeed serve a purpose. We first need to understand that emotions serve to express the state of our inner being (our human spirit). They serve to motivate us and to energize us. Furthermore, studies have determined that the emotion of anger actually does serve a very USEFUL purpose. It has been determined that the purpose of anger is to alert us to danger and, in doing so, produce the well-known “fight or flight” response. In other words, anger is meant to protect us from harm. It energizes us to take stands, to overcome obstacles, accomplish tasks, confront injustice, set limits and fight oppression. However, when anger is mismanaged it typically becomes a major cause of conflict and destruction in relationships at home and at work. Domestic violence, workplace violence and road rage are only a few examples of how anger can become destructive and our of control. Angry people who do not learn to manage out of control anger can end up in jail, losing their jobs and families, even their lives!
The Three Expressive Forms of Anger
Anger is actually often a “secondary emotion”. By that, we mean that anger can actually be a reaction to other underlying and more vulnerable feelings. A good way to visualize this is what is known as the “Anger Iceberg”.
As seen here, the anger emotion (that is exposed and witnessed) covers up the primary emotions that are underneath.
Anger is typically expressed in one of 3 ways:
1. Aggressive Anger: Anger in this instance is specifically directed at another person, with the specific goal of hurting them (physically or psychologically). Examples of aggressive anger are physical violence, yelling, derogatory comments, name-calling, etc.
2. Passive Anger: Passive anger usually refers to the internalization of the expression of the anger emotion, specifically, by NOT dealing directly with the situation that caused the primary emotional feelings. Since the feelings are internalized, the results are later exhibited through actions like holding a grudge, maybe getting even with someone, spreading gossip or rumors, or even damaging a person's property.
3. Assertive Anger: This is by far the best way to effectively communicate feelings of anger. Assertive anger is an expression that is direct but also non-threatening to the person involved. Assertive anger is characterized by individuals making statements such as “ I feel angry when you…”
As seen here, the anger emotion (that is exposed and witnessed) covers up the primary emotions that are underneath.
Anger is typically expressed in one of 3 ways:
1. Aggressive Anger: Anger in this instance is specifically directed at another person, with the specific goal of hurting them (physically or psychologically). Examples of aggressive anger are physical violence, yelling, derogatory comments, name-calling, etc.
2. Passive Anger: Passive anger usually refers to the internalization of the expression of the anger emotion, specifically, by NOT dealing directly with the situation that caused the primary emotional feelings. Since the feelings are internalized, the results are later exhibited through actions like holding a grudge, maybe getting even with someone, spreading gossip or rumors, or even damaging a person's property.
3. Assertive Anger: This is by far the best way to effectively communicate feelings of anger. Assertive anger is an expression that is direct but also non-threatening to the person involved. Assertive anger is characterized by individuals making statements such as “ I feel angry when you…”